Friday, 22 June 2018

Top 10 Tips to keep the Bridezilla at bay.

Well, the wedding has come, and the wedding has gone. 14 months of agonizing planning and decision making, and it was gone in the blink of an eye. And the day was PERFECT. If anything went wrong, I was blissfully unaware, drinking my expensive ass champagne I splurged on (because *hopefully*, you only get married once), and enjoying every little piece of the day - from the wake up, to getting ready, to the ceremony, to the dancing. The only hiccup that I was even made aware of was that the caterers didn't bring wine glasses. LOL, k. The entire day was filled with love, laughter, happy tears, gangsta rap (what else would I play in the car on the way to the ceremony!?), my favorite people/colors/flowers, ahh I'm still just on cloud 9 thinking about it. I wish I could do it 100 times over again. Wedding Groundhog Day. However, I was not alone in being surprised that I wasn't a gigantic Bridezilla asshole. I'm not even being self deprecating, it's in my nature to become an asshole and edgy when I'm stressed, so the fact that I stayed mostly chilled out is in part of: my amazing support team, my husband being very understanding and knowing when we needed to talk my "hulk with a veil on" down (aka our nickname for my anxiety), and the unreal team I hired. Below I have a quick 10 tips that I either picked up from past brides, or learned myself that I would recommend to any future bride:


1. Hire a wedding planner - at the very least, a day of coordinator. I had both and let me tell you, worth every single penny. Were there hiccups the day of? Couldn't tell you, because if there were, I never knew. When we originally hired Gabby, Jake was reluctant to see why we needed to pay someone to make sure all the details were going as they needed to. Let's just say that by the end of the day, he no longer felt that way. Plus, Gabby was seriously the shit and just kept everything calm and happy. I would recommend her to anyone in the Okanagan area.
My Seester, aka the MOH of my Dreams <3 

2. Give your cellphone to your MOH. I had read this tip months ago and what my sister (MOH) did to take it one step further was give her phone number to my day of coordinator, so while I was blissfully enjoying my day, getting ready etc, Alicia was in constant contact with Gabby over scheduling, etc. You'd be very surprised how many people will text the bride the day of the wedding asking questions, so handing your phone over to someone who can politely text back "Kindly send this message elsewhere", is very encouraged. I had my phone on me while getting ready to see well wishes, but any time Alicia saw me texting anything other than "thank you", she'd stick handle to have me stop and replace my phone with a glass of champagne. It was lovely.


3. Don't sweat the small things. For instance: my place cards were printed at Staples and on Friday when we were organizing them at the hall, we realized 5-6 were missing. It was too late to re-print them at staples but I still had the template, so when I got to my parents house after the rehearsal we printed the missing ones from my dad's computer. So 5-6 placecards were different colored cardstock paper, and I didn't give a singular f-ck. There are so many details at play here, you can't lose it over little inconsequential things or you will be a vibrating ball of stress. Plus you need to remind yourself: apart from you & maybe your groom, no one else knows if certains details haven't been executed perfectly.

4. *Try* to stay relatively sober. Not because you don't want to be the drunk bride (unless you do! You do you.), but because you're going to want to remember everything, and the more coherent your brain is, the easier to achieve this. I had glasses of champagne the morning of, but once the day started I don't think I actually finished a single drink. I was too busy saying hello to everyone, dancing, and just trying to take every second in. Everyone thought I was drunk because the euphoria you're feeling makes alcohol all but unnecessary.

5. Understand that you're not going to be able to say hi to everyone, and that's okay. There was a chunk of guests I either didn't even see, or only said a very brief hello to. At first I felt guilty because they're there to see you and celebrate you, but it's just not going to be possible to do that unless you have a very intimate wedding. We had 96 guests total, and even then I feel like I only said hi in passing to a few people I really wanted to talk with, or I didn't even see certain guests at all. And you know what? It's okay. And if they're pissed about it, they need to lower their expectations.


6. Stay hydrated! With something other than champagne. The nerves/heat/adrenaline all take a toll on you and the last thing you want is a headache halfway through the night. Poor Jake had a nasty headache and definitely rallied through to the end, but if you can avoid it, even better.

7. Do plan for plenty of photo time, or even extra. Photos were super important to me, and I didn't want to feel rushed or like we didn't get the shots we wanted. Also, make a list of shots you want and give them to your photographer ahead of time - it speeds up the family photos immensely and cuts down on wasted time.

8. Do mental check in's with yourself, and physical check in's with your husband. Every once in a while I would stop and think "B, are you taking everything in? If not, come on back down to earth please. Look around you, you love every single person here, and they're here for the two of you!" because I just so badly wanted to make sure I took stock of everything. It's so cliche but god damn does the day go by fast - you have to make it a priority to stay in the present and take it all in. You also need to take a few minutes with your new husband, look around together, and take in that blissful feeling as a couple. It is intoxicating to say the least.

9. Test run your hair & makeup, and don't use brand new products. We chose May for the wedding because I sweat like a Hungarian Log thrower, and I didn't want to be a melting bride in July, gross. However, mother nature decided our day should actually be July like weather, and it was hot AF. Thankfully I had test-runned all the makeup I was wearing that day for longevity & it's ability to keep my oiliness at bay; I don't remember touching up my makeup once, except my lipstick. I had also tested out my hair style numerous times before the day, so I knew it wasn't something I was going to be fidgeting with all day. I know I'm the 12,345th person to say this, but, the week before your wedding is NOT the time to try any new facial products or regimen. Stick to your tried & true, test out the new stuff afterwards, or months ahead of time.

10. Don't be afraid to Delegate!! I CANNOT stress this enough!! So it just so happens that 8 weeks-ish before the wedding, my boss decided to go on a spiritual awakening and find himself (not really, he just jumped ship at THE WORST TIME EVER), and suddenly I was left in a spot where my once comfortable, stable job was still stable, but now with a lot more responsibility and tasks and projects, and literally could not have been worse timing. Professionally, an amazing opportunity, 100% - it just would've been wonderful to have had it happen in June instead. Nevertheless, it was one more thing on my already full plate, that I didn't have the option of ignoring. So after weeks of them badgering me to give them jobs, I finally unclenched my hands off my to-do list, and let my parents take on some tasks. Let me tell you, even the most menial little things (ie, pick up poster board and glue sticks for the seating chart) being done accurately, without you? It's amazing how much it takes off your shoulders. If you have things that can be done by someone else - who you A)TRUST  B) will do it how you have instructed - aka they won't put their own spin on it, and C) will do it within your deadline, DO IT. Don't be a hero, it's actually what will ensure the Bridezilla Hulk comes raging out. Delegate.

Last but not least? My god, have fun. It was truly the best day of my life, I'm pretty sure it was for Jake too ;), but we both cannot believe that just like that - it's done. Enjoy every single moment, dance to every single song that comes on that you love, take a look around and realize that every single person there is special to you two in some way or another, and just enjoy the absolute shit out of the day, hiccups & all - they will make for great stories.
"That's what Makes you Beautiful" will ALWAYS make me deliriously happy on a dance floor. Especially my own. 


"Hey, remember when we bottled 150 bottles of wine for the wedding, our caterers didn't bring glasses, and now we have like 120 bottles of wine left in our garage? Yeah, good times" *clink*.

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