Friday, 10 March 2023

Friday Funnies


 It’s been a SEASON around here, to say the least. Sleep issues upon sleep issues, mixed in with the odd tooth rupture, stomach bug & a sprinkle of RSV just to be sure - it’s been a long season of winter. Relationships are not in their thriving season around here & that’s okay, there are ebbs and flows for a reason. 

But.

We’re all coming a bit unglued, Mom being the leader of that game. So yesterday, while it was only day 6 of the actual sickness this time; it was still day 267 of winter and we were scraping the bottom finding things to do to keep us happy, entertained and comfortable. 

So let me set the scene. We piled up in outside clothes, and played in the areas of the yard that were no longer snowy. Myles was setting the excavation sites up & Jack was testing the leaves to assess their nutrition after a long winter of being buried. Mom was cringing at the dirt & muck but she was pushing through because that’s growth baby, can’t control the mess all the time. 

So once we were done outside - vocalized by Jack in a perfect pitch temper shriek, we were heading inside. “They need a bath now to warm up, and I need a shower! Okay I’ll shower & they can play at my feet with their toys and the bathroom will get good and steamy.” Score one for mom! 

LOL, Sure Jan.

So picture it, we’re all naked and I’m gathering all the supplies. Putting towels & jammies in the dryer so my little cherubs are cozy cozy when they come out of their wonderful sensory activity. Jack is waddling around belly first, trash talking the game plan to us. Myles is standing in the bath as the water runs, because he wants to feel the shower start. Bliss is about to be had.

(WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THIS NEXT STEP)

I turn on the shower. And blast that poor feverish kid with cold water. INSTANT Screaming. Howling. Well fuck.

Okay no problem! In comes Mom & Jack and we’re having fun! This is fun! Trucks & containers to fill with water! Fun fun! Distraction, cuddles! Togetherness! No.

Jack joins the chorus because anything his brother is doing he co-signs entirely. So in unison we have howling screams, no fun is being had and NO fun will be had, thank you very much, Mother!!! 

So in a whirlwind of slippery bodies and towels, I gather everybody up, and just panic go into our laundry closet and wrap them in the warm towels. We end up in a pile of warm clothes fresh from the dryer, burritoed in tight. 

As my sopping wet hair drips down my back because I’m the last one I worried about getting cold, or dry, naturally. (I forget what it’s like when I put myself first)

After a few moments of apologizing for clearly traumatizing them and asking why they hated it so much, we were calm and cuddled in. 

“Boy mom, that shower sure went haywire! It was like whoosh whoosh whoosh, what a mess!”

Yea Myles, nailed it. Guess we’ll stick to baths for now.