Tuesday 18 December 2012

For the days your closet hates you.



We've all been there. Regardless of size or shape (even skinny minnies have these days), we've all had the days/weeks where we hate our closet, and our closet hates us right back. The pieces that usually are never fail, now don't fit properly, or you feel uncomfortable in them. Everything you try on just sucks.

So, after you are done trying on every piece of clothing you have, your room looks like a war zone  and you are in all black, pretending you feel good enough to leave the house. You can always blame it on PMS, but let's face it: it comes around more than just once a month, and it is annoying as hell. I actually had someone ask me to do a post on what to wear when you hate everything, and I thought to myself, "Yah! That is a great idea, we've all been there!" and then just because Murphy's Law is so fun, cut to this weekend, and all three days were one big long I hate my closet-athon. This weekend was a little different, because it was my Birthday, and having had plans the whole time, wearing Lulu Lemon and my boyfriend's hoody wasn't going to really cut it. How could I dress semi-fancy, when I felt like 10 pounds of wet noodle in a 5 pound bag? By going to my old faithfuls, accesorizing them to death, and owning it. It's a running joke for Andy, because we will be ready to go somewhere, and then at the last minute I no longer feel comfortable, and have to go change. It drives him crazy, but ladies, we all know that feeling. The one of being at a party/out for dinner/ wherever it may be, going "Ugh I wish I wore that instead of this, I just want to change." It is the worst! So, I can't eliminate the problem from happening all together, (Thanks Hormones!) but I can try to give you a game plan for the next time it happens.

Step 1: Identify the issue, and mask it. Are you bloated? Wear a looser top, or a longer, looser cardigan with a long tunic tank top. I have one, serious old faithful that I will cry when it falls apart: my Wilfred Belle Top. It is black, has batwings, and is loose right around where I need it, but then banded at the bottom to still show off some shape. It is perfect, and because it is black, it is the perfect blank canvas. The colors may not be too exciting, but a darker palette will always be more slimming, and streamlining.

Step 2: Balance out your proportions. As comfy as it may be, wearing loose, baggy pants with a loose, baggy top is not going to make you feel any more feminine; it will do the opposite. So, if you are going to be wearing a flowy, loose top, balance it out with skinny jeans (my red ones got the workout this weekend), or my personal favorite, leggings. The "Wunder Unders" from Lulu Lemon are my all-time favorite, you know why? Because the waist band is high enough to pull up to my belly button, and hold everything in (Glamorous, isn't it? ;) ). On the flip side, if your legs are what is bothering you, wear a wide leg pant, with a tighter top.


Step 3: Make it sparkle. Accessories are the easiest part of this, because be honest, when was the last time you thought to yourself "Gosh, my earlobes are so bloated right now. And holy smokes! When did all these rolls appear on my wrist!?" That's right, never. In the picture above, the silver "Alexandria" necklace, and the silver "Tallia" earrings were my items of choice this weekend, because they added just enough Za Za Zoo to my ensemble, to highlight the really boring basic outfit I had on.

These are just a few of the outfits I played around with, but as you see from the pile starting on the chair, it got messy quick.


Note to self: When you get home, clean your damn mirrors! ;)




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