Tuesday 25 March 2014

Pinterest, you so silly.

Good lord, I love Pinterest. I mean, I'm a girl in my mid-twenties (it actually burns to say it like that, sorry ladies over their mid-twenties, but it's a hard pill to swallow), I enjoy pretty things, cute outfits and food; it's basically my bible, online. But man oh man, there are some se-e-erious fails on that website. I often wonder how many people actually believe some of the horrible "disaster waiting to happen" pins, or just some of the "unless you're the second coming Martha Stewart, don't even fucking bother" pins.

1. For instance, I have had it with these pins that include putting peanut butter on a raw banana. How the fuck are you doing this!? Share your secrets, people. I too would enjoy a banana covered in peanut butter rolled in rice krispies treat, but when I try it, this is how it looks:nailed it Rice Krispies Peanut Butter Banana “Sushi”#nailedit.

2. How fat are some of these people pinning these foods?! "My family absolutely loved this homemade mac & cheese, there wasn't even any for leftovers!" No shit, it has a pound of cheese and two sticks of butter in it, with a splash of whipped cream, only an alien wouldn't devour that.

3. Keep this is mind while looking at the super cute picture of that fantastic outfit that has layered a chunky sweater over-top of a button up, a jean jacket, and either a chunky jacket or massive scarf: that is probably the 101st picture taken of said outfit, and that is the one angle that makes that outfit work, without making the model look a couple shades of knocked up.

4. Ladies, maybe it's just my skin is so sensitive that just looking at the pin makes me break out in a rash, but seriously: a cinnamon and nutmeg paste on your face for 20 minutes will for sure erase your acne scars, because it will burn the absolute piss out of your skin. End of story.

5. Don't even get me started on some of the fitness pins these people make. I'm really sorry, but 20 squats, 20 jumping jacks and 40 crunches didn't just burn 100 calories. Life isn't that fair. If it was, we'd all have wash board abs and perky little booties. Last time I checked, I had neither.

7. Rule #1 of Pinterest. Do not look at the food section while hungry and or dieting. It is ten thousand times worse than going grocery shopping hungry. You will regret it almost immediately, and cry into your bowl of frozen grapes while drooling over the caramel cheesecake bars. Trust.

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