desperately seeking vitamix

To put it kindly, yesterday was not my day. It was a Murphy's Law type of day, running late, didn't get the proper breakfast, spilled almost everything I touched, you know the drill. To make up for it I figured I would make myself a nice big fresh smoothie for lunch to get back some nutrients and really boost my energy for the rest of work..
Smoothies are my jam. They are beyond the easiest way to get multiple servings of fruits & veggies, while still getting the fiber that just juicing can take away. On an average day, I have atleast a smoothie, and on "optimal days" (read: too lazy to prepare food, not too lazy to throw them in a blender), I'll have two at least. My smoothies have a very tried and true algorithm, mainly because I have had some disastrous fuck-ups in the smoothie department, so I've learned an easy base recipe, that I mix up however I see fit.

Basic Smoothie Recipe

• Some sort of dark leafy green; generally it is spinach, but I also like to do a spring mix, chard, beet greens, kale or a mix of all of them. Arugula, big fail.


• Vanilla flavored protein. Either some sort of protein powder, or greek yogurt. Something with enough to keep me full until atleast a mid morning snack.


• Fruit! Frozen is always the best I feel, generally I always have raspberries and bananas on hand, but also love cherries, strawberries, blueberries, apples, etc. I like to work with fruits that are in season, unless I'm going for frozen ones.


• Water or Almond Milk, depending on how rich I want it to be (for everyday I generally go water or coconut water)


• Add-ins: bee pollen, greens powder, peanut butter, ground flax, chia seeds or maca powder or oatmeal.

So that's my basic smoothie mix, and generally speaking it works very well.. until yesterday, when I made - in my opinion - my worst smoothie yet. Pomegranates are in season and fantaastic for you, right? Well, I was at my sister's over the weekend and she had frozen pom seeds that she threw into her blender, and the smoothie was delicious! So while grocery shopping yesterday, I grabbed a few of those bad boys to have with my yogurt, on their own or.. in my smoothie. Did I mention my sister has a Vitamix? Because this is what I failed to consider when diving into my master plan. My blender has some serious gutso to it, but I still liquify the greens and whatever "chunkier" fruit I have before the other ingredients go in to really set myself up for success.. I hate pulp, or anything chunky in my liquids. Bubble Tea? Sit down, you're disgusting. Anyhow, I blended up my greens mix & pomegranate seeds first, and since they are quite crunchy, I double blended, like mega liquified, or so I thought. After that I threw in half a banana, raspberries, blueberries, chia vanilla greek yogurt (HEAVEN), and raspberry lemongrass juice.. mistake #2. I thought it said "wheatgrass" when I bought it, mainly because lemongrass and I don't see eye to eye.. but since it was healthy, there was no way I was going to let it go to waste. And then I topped it all off with some hemp/pea/something vanilla protein powder. Vrrm Vrrm, it's done and I'm ready to enjoy.

 

Chunk city. Chunkville. Chunkchestervillington. Like holy shit it was bad. Look at that color, not much good can come from that color. I drank (aka choked it down fast) it in serious disappointment, and all I could think about while gulping down the chewy mess that was my smoothie was:

Vitamix. Damn you Vitamix, you win again.