Stepping out of your comfort zone.

Everyone has personal hang-ups about their body; it does not matter the size they are. We're human! Boys have hang-ups, super models have hang ups; we all have them. Mine, is my tummy/hips. Well, the main one is my tummy/hips, I have a lot more, but I have been trying to eliminate those thoughts, so I'm not going to mention them. Because of this little insecurity, I always "double top" it. Meaning, I always wear a tight tank top underneath my blouse, other tank, tee, whatever it may be, I'm doubling it. My reasoning behind this, is because I feel like it's "sucking in" all the not so great parts, and it just puts me a little bit at ease, literally like my fashion security blanket. Don't ask me why, since probably.. Grade 8? I've been doing this. But a little while back, I was asked to do a post on stepping outside of your comfort zone, and also how to either fake it, or have genuine confidence in the clothes your're wearing, when they are not your old faithfuls. Well, my dears, I can only help so much. We have become a society that truly loves to bash everything on us that jiggles, because we see the skinny little q-tips* in the magazines (Q-tip*: their head is normal, their body is very tiny in comparison). Now, I don't need to tell you their diet secrets, we already know them! Photoshop (and ingesting air & cigarettes for nourishment). Those bodies aren't real that we see, but let's not even get started on that, the feminist in me would have a field day going after what "Society Media" has done to our poor self-esteem. Anyway! I have a few little tips that hopefully will help you as they helped me, since I have started these little tips, I do truly feel liberated.

1. Don't let the STUPID size tag ruin your mood!! If you were to go through my closet right now, you will find almost EVERY size from 2-8, XS-L. Why? Because not every piece of clothing follows the same sizing guidelines. Some fit a more "larger" scale of people, or market their clothing more to curvier women. And some brands, still feel that every "woman" has the hip width of a 15 year old girl. Not to mention, some clothes actually fit better if you buy larger. Since I don't like my tummy, and have a longer torso, almost every size "small" is too short, so I size up. I also prefer the fit to be a bit baggy, so I almost always size up. If you allow yourself to get hung up on the numbers, you can actually miss out on a great piece of clothing. So stop it!

2. Baby steps. Building confidence is not done overnight in any capacity, so why would body confidence be any different? Do you really love the bold jewellery trends and statements necklaces you've been seeing more and more of, but are really comfortable in your delicate accessorized ways? Then take baby steps. Include a funky bracelet or some really funky stud earrings before you go all out on the statement. Really like the look of mixing prints, but think you'll look silly? Start with something that can be easily taken off if, half way through the day, you feel really insecure, like a scarf. If you want to incorporate more color into your looks, start with an accent piece before you bust out the bright pants/jacket, to allow your comfort zone to match the steps you're taking. Changes should happen gradually, and take long enough so that you don't feel like you're trying too hard, or you just want to go hide in a corner.

3. Keep your own personality in mind. While I may have taken steps to become a bit more comfortable in how I wear my clothes, I am not about to start rocking a crop top and low rise pants because I'm just so liberated. That is quite simply, not me. You have to stay true to you, and what your personal fashion rules are. I really really love color, but almost always am dressing in mostly black/white/navy. Neutrals. So, to accommodate both sides of that spectrum, a lot of the "color" I wear is through my accessories: shoes/scarves/jewellery, etc. This is my happy medium.

4. Stop Hating on Yourself! Please tell me, when was the last time you said to yourself, "I just hate (blank) part(s) of my body.", or "Ugh, I just wish (blank/s) were smaller/tighter/non-existent", and how did it make you feel? Did you have that thought and then go "Yah! I am one rocking human! I feel GREAT!" probably not, you probably felt pretty bad about yourself, and had a little imaginary black cloud over your head. I know it is hard, and I know it isn't easy, but be nicer to yourself! I am not saying I'm perfect and never have a single bad thought; we all have those days. It is about making them fewer and far between. Also, take responsibility for what you don't like. If you can change it, change it!! If you can't, you need to accept that as what makes you "you", and start replacing those negative thoughts with positive ones. Leave yourself love notes around the house, that reinforce the good about you, body related or not. When you stop looking at yourself with a side-by-side comparison of what you think you should look like, you'll feel better, and more refreshed. I can promise you this.



To show you how small the step can be, but how big of a leap it feels like to you, here is what I wore yesterday. 5 months ago, I would have felt SO uncomfortable in that short of a top, but yesterday was different, I really loved the overall look I was going for, and decided instead to focus on how glam I felt with my amazing Stella & Dot Lily Chandellier earrings (oh, did I mention they are quite affordable, gorgeous, lightweight and from the brand new line? yes, do yourself a favor and just get a pair already.) The top doesn't look too short because I'm slightly bending forward, but it hits basically just below my jeans button. For me, that is really short.



 

Have a great weekend, darlings! Don't forget to give yourself some love.

Xo,

B