The Accidental Hipster

Hi, my name is Brianne, and I am blind as a bat. As. A. BAT. Have been since grade 2. (Thanks mama). And up until recently, I haaaated glasses. HATED them! Because when you have to wear glasses in order to function, you don't think they're cute, you just think you look like a dweeb- now that is a word that doesn't get enough airtime. You don't wear them because they are a cute little accessory; you wear them because if you don't, you may actually harm yourself and those around you.  Okay, maybe I am a teensy bit bitter, but my point is, I never felt pretty in glasses, and always felt like a dork when I had to wear them. Unfortunately for me, wearing contacts every single day of the year going on 10+ years have made my poor little peepers quite sensitive, and I can't go more than a few hours before I have to take them out, plus I stare at a computer all day, and my eyes just can't handle it. Now, more than I dislike having to wear glasses, I am cheap when it comes to them. When you are blind, glasses are priiicey. Enter clearlycontacts.com, with the magical gift of "Your first pair is free!" Oh, hell yes. So, since all I had to pay for the first pair was shipping & tax, I figured hey, if I buy a really fun, trendy pair and end up hating them, who cares? they cost less than my shoes. So, I got some funky, tortoise shell ones. And then I put them on, and slightly preppy, chic Brianne is transformed into Hipster Brianne. People, it does not matter what I wear, these suckers turn any outfit into Hipster territory. Oh, you're wearing a pantsuit? Business Hipster. Polka Dot dress with tights and oxfords? You cute little quirky, Hipster, you. & on it goes. Do I have anything against Hipsters? Hell no! I think they are quite hip, if you will (See what I did there? I find myself hilarious. ;) ). But if ya knew me, I am not one of them. I am nowhere near as cool as them, and when something excites me, I am not blasé about it, I am excited. Like, puppy excited. Case in point, the first time I went paint sample shopping at Home Depot, my dad informed me that he could hear me going "Oh, WOW! Look at THIS COLOR! OOh my FAVORITE!" from 10 aisles over. God, I am SO cool. Maybe I really am one of them. In an ironic way. Kind of like the Inception'd Hipster.  Think about it. But not too hard, or your head will hurt, as mine does now. Ahh, the trouble I go through to be hip. Yes, I did take self-timed selfies with a hint of duckface. & I regret nothing. Holy smokes, all the coolness in this one room is just suffocating, people. Gotta go open a window.