Arizona, the Mars of Earth.

.. Think about it, it totally is.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I went to Arizona to see my snowbird Canerican parents. Mainly to see them, but also to recharge - aka get the f-ck out of Vernon, and squash my bank account balance. Needless to say, I succeeded in all of these things. Some highlights of my trip, in no particular order:

1. We went on an art gallery walk down in Old Scottsdale, which was fantastic and only reminded me of the need to work hard and make money marry rich. BUT, the best part of that night was the one gallery we went into had a real security guard, and a fake one. On the way out my mom whispered to me, "you know, that guard really has no sense of humor. He didn't even smile at us!" Yah, she was talking about the fake one. She then proceeded to have a serious anxiety attack in the car about how she was losing it.


2. No matter what I do, every time I get in the sun somewhere hot, I get a heat rash on my arms and chest. Now, this doesn't mean I limit my sun exposure - ain't nobody got time for that- no, I just suck it up. "I'll deal with it on the plane" is literally my go to line when people stare at my bubbling skin with serious concern. Well this time, it went away! Probably due to the antibiotics I was on...? I'm no doctor, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.


3. Now not necessarily a high point, but I did manage to get strep throat one whole day into my trip. I was given some warrior points (by my parents that is, but they count) for the fact that it did not slow me down in the slightest. Stay on the couch feeling sorry for myself, or go hit the premium outlets..? Like it's even a question worth asking.

5. My mom tried to tell me wearing that hat on a desert hike was not "weather appropriate". The woman gave birth to me, and it's like she doesn't even know me enough to know I don't care. She was right, but that's beside the point.



6. The best photo series I have of us, to date. I went in for a snuggle and she assumed I was going to pull down her top. Now, I'm a full-on brat so I wouldn't have put it past me, but I'm pretty thankful my dad decided to snap away while we erupted in mummy-daughter giggles.

7. When your wife makes you dinner, don't tell her the lentils look like barf. Even if they do, dad. I still loved them mom, but this is why I'm your favorite.